Chuck Norris: Badass Superstar or TERRORIST/PERVERT WHO SPREADS AIDS TO CHILDREN IN AFRICA?
So, all you Chuck Norris fanatics who like to make dumb fucking jokes that aren’t funny at all about Chuck Norris being the ultimate badass who can do impossible retarded shit, I have some shocking news for you. So shocking, in fact, that it may appall you so much that it will make you want to eat a dead fetus from Chuck Norris’s dead fetus collection (more on this below) and then vomit blood all over his stupid workout equipment and then curb-stomp the person who started the Chuck Norris jokes. Yes, I am dead fucking serious when I say that it will most definitely make SOMEONE want to do that. I say that simply because there HAS to be some grotesque, filthy-minded individual on this planet who has nasty fantasies with weird fetus-eating fetishes where they afterward vomit blood on peoples belongings that they use to try and get healthy and then disfigure that person with the bottom of their shoe.
Anyways, I digress. I will now reveal a list of 10 little known facts* about Chuck Norris that are real disgusting and super duper fucked up.
Here are ten heinous facts* that will make you want to bite Chuck Norris’s face off and eat all of his illegitimate bastard children:
CHUCK NORRIS IS A TERRORIST
Yes, you read that right. I PERSONALLY consider Chuck Norris to be a member of the Taliban since I heard he wears a turban after he showers and he just has that booga booga terrorist face, you know? So watch out who you worship or your savior may blow up spontaneously around a crowd of people and kill everyone.
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HE HATES JEWS, MEXICANS, AND BLACKS WITH A PASSION
Did you know Chuck Norris has a swastika tattoo on his foot so people can’t see it? I was also told by an obese, racist tranny who he fucked that he has a tattoo in black light ink that says “HEIL HITLER! ARYAN SUPREMACY! FUCK JEWS, MEXICANS, AND BLACKS!” on his butt. Don’t believe me? Ask him to let you shine a black light on his ass so you can take a picture of his racist tattoo, I guarantee you he’ll get defensive and not let you do it. Trust me I asked him once when I was at a crack house just chillin. AUTOMATIC GUILTY PLEA IF YOU ASK ME.
SECRETLY SUPPORTS THE SPREAD OF HIV/AIDS IN AFRICAN CHILDREN
Yeah, I know, I know, sounds like a crazy conspiracy theory that only a cook would believe. But TRUST ME, it’s totally the truth****. Here’s how he does it: since HE has AIDS himself from promiscuous sex with tranny hookers and primates with AIDS, he decided he would use his disease to his evil fucked up advantage by raping as many African children as he can force his misfigured dick in. Maybe I went to far by revealing that, but you should know it because it is a FACT****. Plus, I like writing extremely inappropriate and controversial things, so if you are offended I’m sorry but you can go fuck yourself and suck my fucking dick. PERIOD.
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* when I say fact, I may be lying SLIGHTLY exaggerating or stretching the truth** but because I know it is so close to being what I consider a fact*** it is in no way slander
** “stretching the truth” = lying
*** I tend to say every word I speak is an absolute fact
****I may not be telling the truth….
Disclaimer: When I claim things in this post as being a fact you shouldn’t believe me unless you are a devoted Scientologist and are experienced at believing retarded lies. If you ARE a Scientologist, GET THE FUCK OFF MY BLOG, I HATE YOU.
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CLICK THE LINK TO READ THE WHOLE POST, INCLUDING THE SHOCKING DISCOVERY I DECIDED INVOLVING 100,000 DEAD FETUSES AND WHERE HE GETS THEM/WHAT HE DOES WITH THEM.
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